Nothing fun has happened since the last time I wrote, however a few notable items have occurred. The first thing is that summer is here and I actually love the water! I know this ruff exterior gives off the impression that I like to keep my appearance just right, but underneath it all (and I DO mean ALL THIS HAIR) is a simple dog who likes to play in the water. On Sunday, after church, Privet and I went swimming in the Treadon's pool and boy I had a blast! I was even too tired from all my jumping and swimming that I didn't even have the energy to harass Privet and her cousin that night! I have tons of energy to unleash everyday. It's totally awesome!! It also totally lands me in the slammer for a bit...what? I cannot help that she left her $150 sunglasses that she has had for almost 5 years on a table that was way out of my reach! She forgets that I have excellent climbing skills. Obviously it is not on my paperwork that I, while Scottish, am also part Mountain Goat. What does that all really boil down to? One enraged invasive species...that's what! Let's just say I heard her say that her hand hurt while "gently placing me in my cage"....with her famous reminder line of "Momma spanks, diapers off."
Those weren't the only two notable items. Oh no, I also managed to release my processed water on her couch while Privet's mother was here. Now, I like Wildflower. I call her Wildflower because she is like wildflowers which are beautiful no matter what setting they are placed in...and also that they cannot be tamed, hence the term "wild" ...that precious darlin' has some feistyness still left in her! Wildflower was here visiting Privet before she left to go to the condo in Myrtle Beach. She even stayed and went to church with Privet. All I'm gonna say about that is Privet needed to go...it's been a ruff week on me cause of her! I know she says God needs a few aggressive people in the world and that she doesn't mind being one of them, but geeze! Enough is enough! Anyway, back to the issue at hand. While I do love me some Wildflower and would love to have a whole bouquet of her, she kinda made me mad because she ...wait for it....wait for it...would NOT let me bite her toes!! Can you believe this!? Total abomination and complete defiance toward my overall goal of breaking her skin. So of course I retaliated and continued to release my processed water on Privet's sofa...well....lets just say that didn't end well either...before I knew it, I was back here in the slammer. She use to put me in solitary confinement...the first attempt was the guest bath, until I chewed a hole in the water line to the toilet and flooded the bath. The next try was a blanket over my cage, until I stayed up all night pulling the blanket in through one of the cage's slots. I am not a dumb dog and Privet knows this. She likes a challenge...with me and with people.
I guess we will be heading to FL/AL this weekend. Her friend is getting married in Mobile and she wouldn't miss it for the world! Plus the groom told her she better! He's an interesting character...he calls her Snake. Always has...since around middle school...apparently little Privet was "aggressive" then too! LOL! She has lots of nicknames or so I am finding out. Well, it's almost grub time and I get to spend a little time out in the yard. I hope some of the other inmates at this compound are going to be out. I love to bark and growl like I am some fierce beast!
Barks & Bites,
Big-Benzo
(that's my name on the inside)
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